


Over Thinking

by WolfstarGarden



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 17:03:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13862073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfstarGarden/pseuds/WolfstarGarden
Summary: "Hey Prongs, I think I'm gay."Sirius makes an announcement via text message and then leaves James hanging on the line.





	Over Thinking

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Starstruck4Moony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starstruck4Moony/gifts).



> A bit of nonsense written for the utterly gorgeous Starstruck4Moony.
> 
> I apologise for any formatting errors. I am lazy.  
> Also, deliberate typos 'cause apparently that's a thing? I've been told I'm weird for using grammar and spelling while texting, meh. If they're bad let me know and I will take them out because it's like having my skin peeled off knowing they're in there.

James pottered around his kitchen, glancing at a recipe book as he sang happily along to the stereo belting music from the corner cabinet. “ _I think you’re gonna like it..._ ”

He wasn’t much of a cook really, but a friend was visiting that evening so he was making an effort. Squinting at the book with a stirring spoon raised in defensive confusion, James finally pulled off his glasses and rubbed a hand up his face and into his hair, scruffing it in frustration.

 _Sirius_ knew how to cook. Perhaps if he asked Sirius over James would be able to convince him to help.

James pulled out his phone, vaguely mumbling lyrics. “ _... you’re gonna feel right at home._ ” He punched the invite into his phone.

 

d'you wanna come to tea tonight pads?  
hey prongs  
i think i'm gay  
you what?

 James stared at the phone, tipping the screen sideways, back again. He _must_ have read that wrong. Sirius must have written it wrong.

James knew it was _true_ – he’d suspected for years. But for Sirius to announce it ... just like _that_ , with no fanfare? James slid his glasses back on and stared at the message in utter bemusement.

Sirius’ reply was typically elusive and unsatisfying.

  
yeah. gay. pretty sure  
and you just came up with that revelation now  
like ...  
after all these years just like that  
well uh  
there's this one guy that I'm with  
just someone from work  
with?  
wait – WITH with?  
with with prongs. sex with  
WHAT?  
who is this person??  
PADFOOT  
PADFOOT!!?!  
are you telling me you just had SEX with someo randome you work with  
my effing fingers wont even work now  
Pads where are you  
PADFOOT  
you cant just say something like that and then ghost on me!!!  
how are you having se x with someone that i havent heard about!!?  
IS IT JUST SEX  
DO I NEED TO VET THIS PERSON  
What are His itetentions towards you?  
did you ask these things before you dragged some random into your bed??  
DO You even knoe what to di  
*do

 “Why the fuck won’t you answer me?!” James snapped. He twisted a hand through his hair tight enough to hurt, staring at the phone and willing Sirius to reply. Sirius had either put the phone down or thought he was playing the most hilarious prank ever...

Which was an incredibly Sirius thing to do.

  
YoUr shitting with me arent you?  
this is a fucking prank  
PADFOOT thi s isnt funny!  
PAds   
istg if your just sittin there reading these and not replying....  
just to get an effing rise outta me..,  
then I will make it impossible for you to ever have sex again!  
DO YOU HEAR ME YOU FUCK HEAD

 James paused – if this was a joke then hopefully Sirius would finally answer him now. After a minute of staring at the utterly blank reply line he forced himself to put the phone down. “I’ll give you a couple of minutes... but you’d better answer me, you twat!”

James reset the stereo and turned to stare blindly at his recipe book. He slapped the mixing spoon repeatedly into his palm, growling lyrics under his voice. “ _Welcome to my nightmare..._ ”

He was so distracted that he couldn’t even make it to the end of the song before snatching up his phone again. “Goddammit, Pads!” James scrolled up and down the message list in case he’d missed a reply ... but no.

He tapped the screen, about to press the call button, when another thought occurred to him...

are you still fucking?  
PADFOOT ARe you still fucking hiM?  
PAds ffs  
TALK 2 ME PADFOOT  
... why would you do this to me  
you r no longer my brother :(  
ommfg sirius   
well I hope he's worth it  
I have other friends you know. I can and will replace you  
SIRIUS OMG JUST TELL ME WHATS GOING ON  
where are you? im going to come and fined you if you do not answer me in the next 10 minutes  
OMFG  
ARe you at work?!?!  
ARE YOU FUCKING HIM AT WORK  
PADFOOT

 “Answer your fucking phone, Padfoot!” James snapped.

He checked the time – forty minutes wasted doing almost nothing except sending texts and waiting for replies. He really had no idea what on earth Sirius was doing.

James was both infuriated and concerned – Sirius was not at all the type of person to give dramatic news and then disappear. Sirius was the kind of person who lived for the drama. Usually, he would be loving this level of attention.

PADfoot if your just sitting there watching me freak out istg....  


fs pads are you still alIVE?  
did you bring home a fuckin serieal killer or smth  
omg  
omfg  
you are dead aren’t you?  
oh my actual god sirius what is going on  
why would you say THAT and then just vanish  
im gonna go off and cry for a bit  
it was nice knowing you  
I hope your nt dead  
ill be sad if you're dead  
... pads?

 James’ foot rapped a staccato against the wooden floor. “Jesus fuck Sirius, why would you say anything if you weren’t going to _explain_ it?”

He rubbed his tongue across painfully dry lips and checked the clock again – shit, he was running out of time.

Aggravated, James put his phone down and tried to concentrate on his recipe book ... and _finally_ his phone chimed.

James started so hard he nearly fell down. He snatched up his phone, whipping his glasses off again and putting his nose close to the screen.

really prongs?  
52 texts  
i'd say thats a full deck of cards but clearly youre missing a few from yours

James’ jaw dropped. “You _fucker_...”

are you for real  
WHERE WERE YOU  
rofl  
PAdfoot istg!!  
fuckn hell prongs  
your msgs – YOU ARE KILLIN ME  
PADS  
I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING  
YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER  
BAHAHAHAHA frt wtf   
...  
Fuck you pads. Where the hell were you?!!  
err uhm  
well he was still here so..,,  
So you were fucking then!  
still want me to come over for supper  
ill give you the whole story  
the uh ... blow by blow if you will  
oh you make me sick  
you btter be here in 15 minutes or I’m coming for your arse..  
heeh ee  
I know what that feels like now  
omfg pads  
noe thing before you get here  
*one  
yes prongs  
this bloke. the one you were with...  
is that gonna be a thing or can I set you up wih some1?  
... im not gonna ask wy you have someone lined up for me  
but i think this will be a thing

“Damn,” James scowled. His guest would’ve been _perfect_ for Sirius. 

okay, see you when you get here  
AND IT BETTER BE SOON

 

The doorbell rang ten minutes later and James bounded towards it, hoping it was Sirius. His heart sank just a little. “Oh. Hey Remus, c’mon in.”

Remus twitched an eyebrow at him. “You don’t look especially pleased to see me,” he said in a light, teasing voice.

“Oh, I definitely am,” James beamed and pulled him into a hug to prove it. “No, it’s just ... a mate of mine is gonna join us. I’m hoping he’ll cook for us actually – I’m running pretty late.”

“Something wrong?” Remus’ brow folded slightly, his amber eyes studying James.

“We-ell,” James paused. “No. My mate just has some exciting news. Anyway, you’re looking rather well...”

They stepped through to the kitchen and James poured Remus a glass of wine while he went back to preparing supper. They chattered amiably until the doorbell rang again about fifteen minutes later.

“Would you like me to..?”

“Uh, no – thanks Moony, I’ll get it.”

James raced down the hall to let Sirius in. Flinging the door open, he found Sirius standing there, clearly attempting to appear nonchalant and failing utterly.

James wrenched him into a warm hug. “Well? What was it like?”

Sirius grinned and licked his lips. “Pretty great, Prongs.”

“So who’s the guy?” James asked, as Sirius stepped inside. “Do you actually _know_ him, or just colleagues or ...”

“We’ve actually been dating for quite a while, like ... getting to know each other. But I didn’t want to say anything until – well, now.”

James grinned and ruffled his hair. “That’s great. I want to meet him. But right now I need your help in the kitchen. I’ve got a friend over and I’ve ruined supper.”

Sirius laughed. “The truth will out. That’s why you asked me over tonight, isn’t it? So you could impress your mate with good food?”

“I feel so attacked by you tonight,” James grinned, knocking Sirius lightly with his hip.

They stepped into the kitchen and Sirius stopped dead in the doorway. Remus had gone rigid in his seat.

Words of introduction died on James’ lips. “Uh ... Sirius, this is Remus...”

A soft, brilliant smile spread across Sirius’ face. “Yeah,” he said before James could speak again. “I know.”

Remus was smiling too, an ambivalent mix of emotions – smug and coy, shocked and delighted.

James sucked in a deep breath, glancing between them. A mischievous understanding stretched his mouth into a smile. “But I see you already know each other.”

A short beat of silence, then: “We do,” Sirius said.

Remus’ voice was a possessive drawl. “We most certainly do.”

James laughed. “How awesome! I want to hear _everything_. And hopefully this time I won’t have to wait an hour between each sentence.”

 

 


End file.
